Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
