i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money canโt buy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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