and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
