no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
