Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
