This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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