I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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