She's JV to your varsity
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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