OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I am morally bankrupt
People in love make me want to vomit
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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