Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
even my farts smell like vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
