is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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