Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
