I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
