Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got inside last night via doggy door
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I would ride that face into the sunset
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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