You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize