Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
