I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
