You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
