Don't EVER smell your tampon
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
