he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
