i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
