I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
