I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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