ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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