This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize