I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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