I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I just put wine in my tea
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
