I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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