"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize