You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
false alarm. still invincible.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
