maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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