They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
