good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
