So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
