garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize