But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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