do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
