Kiss
Puke
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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