It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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