It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize