ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm like, not good at living.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
