please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
