i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
