i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
