Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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