Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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