I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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