Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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