He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
