Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize