Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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