I think i sorta joined a cult last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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