hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
