Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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