Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
