I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize