sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
