No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
