it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
