I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
