So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
