yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
