and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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