am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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