No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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