small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
